HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME ;)

Its' my 26th Birthday! And on my way to becoming more wiser! Is that what people always said? Another year older, another year wiser? Even I still dont understand how 'wise' is quantifiable enough by year? ;p

Yet another year is passing by. It is just scary to see how time just flies, on hindsight.  And this year, a lot has changed. People changed hoping in return for the better. However, we always forget that change is hard. A year ago, my life was totally different and this year its' another structure of life. There are just so many changes but I do realized that things have started becoming more fulfilling.  I'm trying to take it day by day to find my new norm. I'm enjoying all that means, the new life and of course experiences. 

Anyway, to all with kind thoughts and wishes for my birthday, THANK YOU! Thanks for your heart kindness reminding me life is progressing for every breath. The journey hasn't been without challenges but its' been a rewarding one every step of the way. It's always how we sail it. Syukur Alhamdulillah :)

Your friend is your needs answered

And our lady who was the first among us embarking on marriage life is currently town's most beautiful mother.

And next on picture, our lovely kindhearted messy laughing stock intelligent adventurous always an artful who is never stop having faith and trying her best to embracing life.

You were a lovely (always) kindhearted (13 years, no doubt!) messy (please refer the lower-form memory below. we were sucha lovely messy girls back then) laughing stock (all those high-school memories are our forever humor collections) intelligent (God, tell me. add math, modern math, chemy? eassyy picky) adventurous (tell them which part of Penang we havent explored yet?)  always an artful girl (the only yang enrolled for Pendidikan Seni in SPM!) in high school and I can see that you haven't changed in all the fundamental ways that really count. You've grown and evolved into beautifully a lady.

-Thank God the photo is blur. You cant tell who is who kan?-

I have the privilege and gift granted by Allah SWT of knowing this amazing person back in MRSM 13 years ago and through her, I have met many many more equally wonderful journey that have helped me bounce many times from the pits of the real world that I was clearly not built for. 

We have our share of dramas, preferences and dislikes, closeness and detachment, our highest highs and lowest of lows. We know each others strengths and weaknesses. We have laughed out loud and we have our silly cried moment. We have grown and evolved. We witness each other progress and evolvement into becoming contributing human. We have shared our evaluation on the searching of life partner. We've fought, judged, bitched about others at one point in time but through it all, with time, we raise above the challenges, heartaches, heartbreaks and petty quarrels to remain as a friend for more than a decade now. We are us.

What more can I ask for in friend.   

My prayers are with you as your journey into this new phase of your life. Together. Finally

I will be the most beautiful bridesmaid, dulang girl, flower girl whatever girl that you need me for on your wedding day.

  

Life is progressing

The last thing I had in mind prior hitting the sack yesterday was who is wrong.  Who is wrong.  Never what is wrong and where is it that things going wrong.  The answer is so much negative, unfairly judged and imbalanced.  Am so much afraid to come to conclusion of my finding because I know am actually seeking an easy way out to satisfy my lust of unstable emotions. 

Human and his heart emotions.  My emotions tumbled my every being and been running to the depressing side recently.  The low points really do seem outnumber other positive points.  We change our every teeny lives at the core of our being result of an unstable emotions.  How sad. 

It must have been greatly difficult to release the unstable emotions in a stable way.  Unstables to be released in an unstable way is ticked, easy.  Feeding yourself with anger, despair, fear, anxiety, sadness, frustration and confusion.  And we believe in our interpretation of them.  How sad. 

 I know that life ain't always smooth for otherwise where is the progress and growth in that.  The emotions game is just part of us, human structure.  Losing sight of what is important when the going gets though purely a lost.  I need and want guidance, I require enlightenment that purely feeds my soul.  I don't believe the unstable emotions will be able to paralyze or even destroy human beautiful soul that has Deen as its core foundation.  My life has its challenges, our life has. 

Life is progressing, however most importantly now, do I have the correct intent to begin?

The songs we sing
are like foam on the surface of sea of being
while the precious gems lie deep beneath.
But the tenderness in our songs
is a reflection of what is hidden in the depths.
Stop the flow of your words,
open the window of your heart and
let the spirit speak.

Reward yourself for a year well survived!

Well, a practical and elegant pen is the reward for me!

Mood: Happy writing :)

 

Day 2 : Two Songs!

Its' 10.29 p.m. and I am so mengantuk. Am on medical leave today. Woke up this morning with throbbing head and puke my guts out I did. But I wanted to do this. I want to write. Work has been everywhere, miserable right now.  Users been calling, demanding and I am far far away from it.  Its' def not a good sign when people start labeling you as showstopper. Of course, I won't be affected by this unfair label, but if I myself feeling miserable at work, head hurts more often and get grumpy easily. Can these be counted as sign? Oh gosh, this freaks me off. Soon that natural will stop grow, talent will stop shine and find an easy way out to mediocrity. Hmm not OK. Def no no! Stop this pleasee. So drama ;p

So, cut to the chase with two songs I love the most!

I possess good sense on good song that is heartily written out of honesty and genuinity. When the connotation blends with the right melody, it become so melodious to ear that it heartily shapes faithful listener. So... there you go!

Careless Whisper - George Michael

" Im' never gonna dance again,
  Guilty feet have got no rhythm "

My Heart Will Go On - Celine Dion

" Love can touch us one time
  And last for a lifetime
  And never let go till we're gone "

Both are just: Genuine. Focus. Phrasing. Honest. Reflection. Harmonic.

His mind is roaming into oblivion, so do I. But how do I get back on track?
Goodnight  earthlings.

Me challenge!

And it's coming to the end of weekend!  What an exciting ride this week has been though.  My Saturday was all occupied with office stuff.  I went to the office as early as 7.40 a.m.  The train on weekend are less crowded and provide me more leisure times for an effective reading.  I just love being in the office on weekend. I managed to get things done, loads of thing without being interrupted by people noise or even phone calls. 

I came across an incident last week which has adversely affected my work performance.  Yet, never a give-up in my dictionary, I got re-energised and spiritually motivate myself to stay focus, work hard and never give up!  

Just a perfect time to recall this as am bout to feel a bit of listless now.  And so, we make effort.  List.  Plan.  Argue.   Consolidate.  Balance.  Align.  Action plan.  Deadline.  It's just a map.   Check points.  Nothing definite.  Just targets.  So we know, because time flies.  But at least on a day-to-day basis we can tell whether we are moving closer towards our common destination, where we intersect.  Moving towards becoming a better ummah, daughter, friend, partner and close confidant, individual and employee.  Let the spirit on and the ideas begin! The usual me is very much conscientious when it comes to work.  Trust me, I am :)

Sunday was a perfect day for the sense of art curious explorer in me.  I just went back from KL's most happening arts and crafts bazaar.  I had my artsy focus onto this bazaar since the past 2weeks since I got the FB invites.  The whole slew of book launches including the first Dutch fiction to be translated into Malay and the youthful singer-songwriter showcase just excite me off!  The most look forward was of course The Siti & Pepper Show!  Siti & Pepper invite you to listen as parents and educators who believe in a Malaysia without hate, discuss how we can love, nurture and celebrate our children regardless of which gender they identify with or fall in love with.

Ainin's writing always make day brighter and give me something to look forward to.  So I scrolled down onto Ainins and excitingly found this on her!  I shall try.  But bear with me, its' gonna take forever for me to reach to the 'ten secrets'.

Day 1 : Lets start with one picture of yourself? 

This was me year ago with red track bottom, shirt and sport shoes on, ready for a jungle trekking at Taman Negara Bukit Lambir, Miri Sarawak!  Haaa funny enough for an indoorsy type of person!  I was forced into a jungle trekking by these beautiful friends of mine.  For something that requires a not so very physical person to to climb uphill, she would bring the whole room with her.  Look at my handbag, I have the room with me ;p 

However, I deserved a compliment as I managed to survive the kilometers of trekking and managed to capture nature at its most natural and wildlife at its most wildest!  I was exhilarated that I had managed to get a shot that was not extremely blurry for a change especially in this dramatic landscapes from the remote part of Sarawak. What an achievement kan? Clap clap ;p

So, stay tuned for Day 2 : Two Songs shall we? :)

Reflection of gratitude

I got caught up in an avalanche of desires that propelled into a race I couldnt possibly win. I rushed, rushed and rushed to get there. In spite of my feelings of invincibility and immortality. My existence is far more tenuous that I might think as I place my hand over my chest and feel my heartbeat. My life clock is ticking, counting. The heart that was once laced with amorous ideas is trying it best to capture the remnants of what it still believes.

-pcsbtownhall2013

Look at the moon and I see stillness,
But the moon is out of reach and I know it..

Strength & Love

Well I guess writing poetry is also a thing 

Every glance I catch,

from my every worried eyes,
makes you worried..

And you are turning,
smiling at me,
with different worries,
different worried eyes..

Smiling and turning,
through my thousand bitter eyes,
Making me feel weaker and the strength subsides..

Two hands lies still,
in pure achievement of its lovely song,
this heart in your hand,
I hold out to you..