Gosh it's been exactly a month since I'm able to do this. To write away, to put everything into words. Loads have
changed since earlier this year. Had loads on my
mind but maybe the time for them had passed. Maybe those colors will
come back. Maybe not. I tend not to care so much these days. It's the job you see. I hardly had breathing space. Work
takes up most of the weekdays (cant remember if I ever left the office
before 7.30pm but mostly it's after 8pm). Luckily, I do enjoy the work like VERY MUCH! I like
my boss (we have our moments tho) and I do enjoy working with my
colleagues so much so that I feel guilty for taking leave and I'd miss
the office when I'm away. :)
I have so many posts half written on notebooks. Never had the chance to finish them. All left hanging. About
so many things. Maybe about everything. Maybe later. Much later. Ah, and I do have loads in my reading list as well. Sometimes, as am moving on my career path, am afraid that am losing my grounds. But of course, everyone has got their own problem
and I'm just another person, going loco as time pass ;p
To be greeted by a whirlwind of change into a
new department is something that I look forward to. The new
portfolio I reckon is exactly the same as previous but the pace is much more manageable, or at least I try to make it manageable. When life give you lemon, make
lemon soda right? I am sure I'll figure out
how to add a more strategic value to the job, the sooner or the later.
Lets talk more about something beneficial for the others. I have my reason for staying more than eight hours at the office. At days, when I performed my Zuhur and Asar prayers, both consumed about one hour from the total hours given and paid for performing my job. A piece of wise advise from my Abah- " Try to broaden your scope, if your non-muslim friends are to perform their job in a total of eight hours, why us Muslim should use solat as an excuse to perform only seven hours of job? " Obligation as a Muslim comes to not only performing the Solat, but to not use Solat as an excuse and importantly to promote the virtue of Islam which is indeed a virtue of truthfulness.
At times, I felt a bit of guilty to bother my seniors when I know they are struggling on their own job yet still willing to spare me a bit of time to coach, assist and even listen to my so-called problem. But I am certain, the good deeds will come back to them in great proportions. Time is the most precious, inestimable gift for me. Sure, there will be many teachers in my career :)
Competency. This is debatable. In our desire to impress and show how good we are, we work harder and harder to show what we can do. Each time we impress, we raise expectations which force us to work super harder than ever. Cycle stops when, I wonder? My boss said, competency comes partly from doing and experiencing. The other part is attitude. If you are willing to learn and take every task as a learning opportunity, competency will surely come to you. And my father said it takes a lot of discipline to succeed. Always back to your nawaitu, start your day with a right niat.
How I wish I can just read about the current news without picking up the stupidity, without hearing the screams in my head. Without having fear rising up inside me when I see the leaders acting and making public statement with no responsibility at all. I read about power struggle, political control, greed, oppression. It’s the same story. It’s the same vicious cycle. And always that small of group of people, characterized and colored by all the shades of greed, making sure things stay that way. It’s nauseating.
In a vision, or in none,
Is it therefore the less gone?
All that we see or seem
Is but a dream within a dream
Edgar Allan Poe
