You can’t fly before you can walk

My life is full of misery lately and am inciting pity.  The other night I was tired.  In fact, I was exhausted.  There has been a  feeling I’m running a race I can’t win.  On top of it, I felt helpless to being this way.  I am completely deprived of strength.  Miserable, I end up thinking I’ll never get to a point in my life where I get to do what I love and yes, true contentment and satisfaction ain't there. I am in dire need to meet someone who is in a worse predicament than I am, only if this can alleviate me from such feelings.  Ingratitude me.

Astaghfirullah, I am well aware that down and defeat are not just the calamities that strike us. But why is't so hard for me to understand the flow of life?  I may be tested by pain, or even pleasure.  I read notes by Navaid Aziz saying that "pain and suffering only become negative if they cause a barrier between you and Allah.  They become positive when they bring you back to Allah.  It’s not that Allah wants to punish you, but rather it’s an invitation, a reminder for you to go back to Him."

I will look down on myself with disdain if I were to deal with the pain by seeking the pity of others.  I shall open the eyes of the heart and look!  There is actually a blessing in trials that we don’t perceive.

Oh, remember I said that I'm in the position where to keep people updated about my private life and personal particular is definitely not my major interest? Yet, I have to admit writing makes it easier thus far. A sense of relief I tell ya.

Tuhan dosaku menggunung tinggi

Tapi taubatku tak ku tepati

Tuhan RahmatMU melangit luas

Namun sedikit sekali ku bersyukur…

Tiada daya untuk bertahan…hanya Engkau tempat berpegang..

Kau jagalah hati yang kadang redup..ditiup angin duniawi…

Gemerlap kilauan harta,takhta dan cinta manusia..yang menyesatkan…

Sufiahsolehah

"…maka Allah mengetahui apa yang ada di dalm hati mereka lalu menurunkan ketenangan atas mereka dan memberikan balasan kepada mereka dengan kemenangan yang dekat(waktunya)." (Al Fath:18)
 

You can’t fly before you can walk. Everything takes time and I will surely find my way. InshaAllah InshaAllah!